February 15, 2017 by Soo Ee
I sort to buy a pack of sweets for sore throat to give someone whom I had disagreements with in the past, over work.
Our clashes happened because of the different way we wanted things to be done and because I was task oriented
I wanted things to be done my way.
It wasn’t because of politics we had our disagreements. That was a point I considered. I preferred the road less troddened whereas she preferred clear paths that definitely led to somewhere. I preferred experimenting and didn’t mind failing whereas she rather not have things turn bad if there was already a fool proof plan.
I knew I first had to mend the bridge I’ve burnt. I noticed she had that nasty hoarseness for quite a long time now. I thought something from Cold Storage would be nice. I ran out of my antiseptic lozenges stash and those could only be purchased at the pharmacy. Cold storage was easily accessible.
Would she suspect my motive? Would she think there was a catch? Would it be awkward? Did I make things better or just rubbed everything in the dirt between us?
I was thinking too much. I went and got the sweets and passed them to her first thing in the morning when I saw her.
Later that morning, that same colleague reminded me that I had a class to cover and that I was late for the class. Thank goodness for that reminder from her!
I wondered might she have reminded me if I didn’t get her the sweets?
I thought about how I had the power to change the way things are around me. I may not be able to change the world but I could set in motion things that needed a boost. On my own at first then the rest.
I thought about how gestures we often view as ‘too small to be noticed’ could snowball into important.
I thought it possible that since the clashes, that colleague I had crossed orh with thought to keep a distance from me as much as she could to avoid any unnecessary conflict. Just as how I kept mine from stu-man in order not to invoke his unnecessary sensitivity.
Something another colleague of mine said got me thinking. He said something along the line of ‘I know you don’t like her blah blah, not happy with her blah blah.’ For the record, I was taken aback. The clashes we had were all work related and I didn’t link any unhappiness to her. We weren’t going to be the best of buddies but that didn’t mean I treated her like my mortal enemy. I didn’t realise I was projecting hate so I thought to make good with her. If he felt so, imagine how she might be feeling or thinking.
So that’s something good for today. I’m glad I let my pride go a little to show care for someone I work with. It wasn’t easy for me, a little awkward and I had not the same love for her as I did my other colleagues but I’m glad I did it inspite of my reservations and prejudices.
I know you would be proud of me if you knew why I did.