August 18, 2016 by Soo Ee
1. I can speak my mind.
Relationships thrive when couples can express themselves freely and honestly. That means anything under the sun goes. Constant open communication is essential to building a long lasting happy relationship. Close communication creates barriers and assumptions.
2. I have my own space.
Just because I am in love doesn’t mean we have to spend every moment together. I want to take time to pursue my own interests and friendships. I know this will keep my relationship fresh and give us both the opportunity to grow as individuals, as well as a couple. Our me-time is important.
3. I don’t expect perfection from my partner because I am imperfect.
I recognize that neither one of us is perfect. Whoever I am with will be valued and accepted for who they are, not who they might become. I will not base my partnership on the hope that it will change into something more magical. What we have now at this moment is magical, not something in the future.
4. I am joyful.
Relationships should be filled with joy and laughter. That doesn’t mean I am on cloud nine every hour of the day or that my other half doesn’t say or do something annoying sometimes. What it means is that our time together is mostly happy in simple ways, through having dinner together, watching a show together, laughing at stuff together.
5. I am shown kindness.
It is important to me my other half treats me with care, consideration, empathy and appreciation. I should make it a point to return the kindness. There is a problem if my other half shows more respect to other people than me. That could be a good time to take a step back and reevaluate the situation.
6. There is trust between us.
Healthy relationships must be based on trust. I might have secrets that I am not comfortable sharing.
7. We let go of negative feelings/thoughts.
It is important to talk out the bothering issue, tell each other the bothering thoughts and/or feelings, and then let it be gone with the wind. Too much of a bad thing festers.
8. We bond through intimacy.
Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship but it is only one part. Intimacy is about being connected in and out of bed. It is about bonding, familiarity and the comfort of being in each other’s company.
9. I feel safe in my own environment.
Being with my other half is where I feel safe. I want to know that when things are hard, when things don’t go my way or when the day has been terrible, or if I am really moody, I’d rather see my partner than hang out with my friends after work.
10. I can/will talk to my partner, not to other people.
When I have issues and concerns, I share them with my partner, not with my friends or on social media. I run thoughts through close friends but I will not avoid the hard conversations I know I need to have with my significant other.
Disclaimer: You can look at my relationship credentials in two ways. I suck at it because I have been in and out of nine relationships in the past 20 years and the longest was only four years. I am the person you come to because I have been in so many over a span of twenty years. I have been unfaithful, jilted, the third party, third partied, all side of the equation. I would know better.