A healthy relationship

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August 18, 2016 by Soo Ee

A healthy relationship is one where …

I can speak my mind and express myself freely and honestly without fear of the other person taking things too personally. Constant open communication is essential to building a long lasting happy relationship. Close communication creates barriers and assumptions.

I have my own space. Just because we are a couple doesn’t mean we have to spend every waking moment together and texting when we are not together. I want to take time to pursue my own interests and friendships. Not doing so gives us both the opportunity to grow as individuals, as well as a couple. Our me-time is important.

I don’t expect perfection from my partner. No one is or can be perfect. We just have expectations we expect the other person to fulfill. Have realistic ones. The person I am with must be valued and accepted for who they are, and not who they might become. The objective is to help them to grow with me, not change them from black to white.

What we have now at this moment is magical, not something in the future. So now is gold.

I am joyful.That doesn’t mean I am on cloud nine every hour of the day or that my other half doesn’t say or do something annoying sometimes. What it means is that we like being around each other.

I am shown kindness. Even I like being shown care, consideration, empathy and appreciation. Make it a point to return the love. There is a problem if my other half shows more respect to other people than me. I would take a step back after I think ‘What.’

I am allowed a secret or two and my other half is secured enough to trust me.

We talk out the bothering issue, tell each other the bothering thoughts and/or feelings, and then let it be gone with the wind.

We bond through intimacy. Intimacy is about being connected in and out of bed. It is about the familiarity and the comfort of being in each other’s company.

Being with my other half makes me feel safe, never otherwise. I want to know when things are hard, when things don’t go my way or when the day has been terrible.


Disclaimer: You can look at my relationship credentials in two ways. I suck at it because I have been in and out of nine relationships in the past 20 years and the longest was only four years. I am the person you come to because I have been in so many over a span of twenty years. I have been unfaithful, jilted, the third party, third partied, all side of the equation. I would know better. 

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