March 22, 2016 by pecanbutter
When I received news that the annual Taekwondo affair at NTU was going to be in the same weekend I was scheduled to be in Kuala Lumpur competing for a position in the Spartan Race Malaysia, my heart sank. It was such a bad fix to be caught in.
I dug deep inside my brain for a perfect win-win solution. I tried reaching out to others to help out at the competition. I changed the arranged bus ride to Kuala Lumpur to a flight and arranged to return to Singapore in a cab. My thoughts got crazier with each passing day. I visioned myself lugging my luggage to the race venue and then heading to the airport straight after the race. The thought of driving up to Kuala Lumpur was even an option, considering I am a person who is always lost on the roads. Camping out at the race venue, running the race and then driving back to Singapore all in one morning.
However, the strange thing was, the more I tried to convince myself that I could go ahead and do the race with the perfect solution and that the NTU kids would definitely do okay without me, the more difficult it was to convince myself that.
Deep down inside, I know that they could take care of themselves, that they know what they needed to do and that they would do just that. And I would come back on Sunday evening just in time to celebrate their wins with them.
Then it hit me I wanted not only to bask in their wins or be the coach holding the overall champion trophy on Sunday evening. I wanted to be the coach there be that they win or lose. I wanted to be with them through everything. The moment they decided to sign up for the competition, I have never let anyone of them off easy during training and demanded that they gave me every single ounce of effort they could muster. I knew my expectations were sky high. I chided them when I found they weren’t taking the training seriously. I grabbed them when they did not have the focus I expected. I pushed them to their limits and sometimes over their limits. I tried to rein them back in when they wanted to throw in the towel. I did my best to convince them the opposite when they doubted themselves.
I am glad I skipped the trip up for the race. There will be another chance to do a race, not another chance to be with giants.
(Photo credits: Benedict Ong and Ang Yi Ci)